I myself am much more career focused and plan my future rigidly.
What drew me to my current boyfriend is his goofy personality and sense for adventure, not his skin colour. I've dated many people from all backgrounds and hooked up with more. I'm sure I'll add more to the list as the years go on. Do you enjoy being so colonized? Why do you want to be white?"ĭating a black girl: "OMGGG!!! YOU GUYS ARE FUTURE!!!" What a fob."ĭating a white guy: "Wow, potato queen. It just seems like no matter who I'm dating, other people have to comment:ĭating an Asian guy: "Ew, isn't that like dating your brother?" or "S O L I D A R I T Y"ĭating an Asian girl: "Wow, how insular/domestic. If I had to sit down and think about all this "decolonization" stuff during sex, I don't think I'd ever finish haha. For broader social trends which make me uncomfortable, especially what you mentioned about leveraging finances to secure a relationship, I do some reading on it (tbh, at the other end, you run into prejudices around assortive mating, which is its own can of worms). I like to keep a practical bent: if something makes me uncomfortable, like race play as foreplay, then I ask my partner to stop. What matters is that you feel like you're connecting with one another on an individual level (ex: your white partner wouldn't be just as satisfied with a random Asian guy with similar physical traits and you wouldn't be just as satisfied with a random white dude with similar physical traits). There are always going to be "complexes", or aspects of the relationship informed by social norms. I am curious what people who are in mixed relationships have been like? Are there any complexes that goes unanswered? Is dating white automatically an okay pass for being gay? But more interestingly I am seeing a lot of Asian guys being more successful and the provider for their mixed relationships, and kinda desperate to keep their men with gifts and financial security.
On one hand, I see these "white" guys prefer the smaller 5'6'' Asians, slim, typical eyes (mine are larger), like the typical WM/AF dynamic. But I've been frequently turned down by most White or White appearing Latinos. When comes to dating I prefer similar physiques and pretty open to race.
A bit about me: I am 6 ft 210LB, born in Shanghai but have lived in the bay area for 20 plus years. As an asian male I've experienced this a lot in the gay community as well. I've been reading a few posts in the /aznidentity sub on White Male Asian Female (WM/AF) dynamics and finding it very disturbing with self hatred and discrimination.